May marks the beginning of my birthday month.

HELLO, birthday month. When I mentioned this to my second graders, they were amazed that I had a whole birthday month when they only had one birthday day. They agreed that one day is never enough. Of course, I explained that I didn’t get gifts or parties every day…..but I made sure to plan fun activities and to treat myself nicely during my birthday month, sometimes even refusing to do do things that I didn’t enjoy. My students had many ideas of chores they’d refuse during their birthday month, along with a few foods they wouldn’t eat. Even without gifts every day, they were strongly in favor of the birthday month idea.

I can remember a time when I was excited about turning a year older, sometimes even including an extra “half” to my birth year. I think that stopped when I became 21. There were no other milestones in which to look forward. Surely not 30- definitely not 40. I refused to even think about 50! This year, I may subtract several “halves” from my birth year.

As this year will be the last in my ’40s, I could easily feel so depressed if I allow myself to think that more than half of my life is over. It’s all passed so quickly! Rather than focus on age, I’ve vowed to focus on how young I feel and I’ll probably focus a little on making an appointment for Botox and filler, too….

To give myself a little inspiration in planning this month, these are things that would be birthday month DO’s…..

A relaxing pedicure (one with wine)

A girls’ night out

I will get ready for a girls’ night out while sipping champagne

An adult beverage on my front porch with my sister

I will visit at least one new winery

I will take an over-night trip (with a delicious meal)

I will take golf card rides at dusk

I will watch a sunset

I will sip coffee one morning with my feet in the pool

And these are my (mostly wishful thinking) birthday month DONT’S…..

I will not scoop poop

I will not clean cat poop off of the floor

I will not scrub cat puke from the grout of my new tile floor

I will not fold clothes

I will not collect food bits from the sink drain

I will not struggle to hang up boat neck or one-shoulder tops

I will not pluck weeds from the middle of the rose bushes

I WILL NOT PAINT ONE MORE THING!

How do you feel about aging? Do you celebrate a birthday, a birthday week, or a whole birthday month? Please comment. I’d love to know!

January 15^th marked the first six months of marriage for Eric and me. And we forgot to celebrate it.

Yes, the couple that celebrated every dating anniversary hasn’t celebrated any anniversary since the day we married. Marriage (and Covid) definitely changed things. Some even say that the first six months is the hardest….

“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” – Dave Meurer

This first six months of marriage has been full of highs, lows, and many lessons learned.

–We’ve learned that we can survive spending 24/7 time together, thanks to Covid.  We found that we can even both work from home simultaneously. Earphones are the greatest invention.

–We’ve learned to divide chores. It’s nice to not have to be responsible for everything. There are no such things as “male” and “female” chores in this house! Eric does an excellent job with the pool and he unloads the dishwasher like a pro! I occasionally use a drill- although not so much like a pro. Finally, I feel like I can breathe for the first time since I divorced.

–We’ve learned to make decisions together. This is a hard one because we are so independent! When we decided to replace the refrigerator, he did the research on the model and I shopped for the best deal. We paid for it together and we are super excited about our first couple purchase! Yes, we’ve both bought refrigerators before, but we stare at this one with love in our eyes. Why? Because this required teamwork. We both have our strengths.

–We’ve learned that it’s ok to disagree. We don’t have to be carbon copies of one another. Being different doesn’t mean that our marriage isn’t going to work. Sometimes, you have to respectfully agree to disagree. And you have to keep your mouth shut for the betterment of marriage. ( I’m still strengthing those skills.)

-We’ve learned that new traditions can be created to combine the best of both worlds. Somehow, we survived our first round of holidays and the chaos of combining both families. Some of us have come close to strangulation, but next year will be much easier because we will know what to expect. We have a collection of great pictures and memories- and that’s what counts.

-We’ve learned to compromise. Eric will never be as obsessively neat as me.  I’ve learned to live with having things less than perfect (with the help of Prozac.) He accepts that I will never like sports, sci-fi, or politics….oh, the horror! But we have many movies and activities we both enjoy. Of course, we like wine. Never underestimate the bond that wine can create…..Marriage is definitely 90% compromise for some, and that’s completely ok.  

-We are learning to become a family. Combining two separate lives is never easy- for anyone. The kids and I are learning to adjust and are getting to know each other. Although we’ve been in each other’s lives for a while now, living together and sharing space after the marriage has had its challenges. But with the challenges, there has been laughter, bonding, and memories made. I can get free back cracks anytime I want, thanks to Remington. I have help moving heavy objects and climbing ladders, thanks to Jack. And Alex is always there with his humor and sarcasm.

We are finally settling into our marriage. I’m thankful for all the highs and lows, and all of the space in-between, that has caused our bond to strengthen. I hope that we always continue to have the opportunity to learn! For this bond shall not be broken.

And I vow to never miss another marriage milestone.