The Fork in The Road

*From My Journal*

I’m at a crossroads in my life and don’t know which route to take.

I’m confused and overwhelmed.

My heart is broken into a million pieces because the time has come to choose. Although I’ve been heading in this direction for a long time, my mind somehow tricked me into believing I’d never arrive here. The mind loves the comfort of denial.

I’m standing before a fork in the road, praying with all my heart that I make the right choice.

One road is full of uncertainty. It isn’t very safe. It is rocky and overgrown with thorns and brush. I can’t see past the first winding turn. It looks torturous and complicated. Yet, somehow, it appeals to me. I am drawn towards it. I know that this road will teach perseverance. I know that it will take patience. Despite the struggle, I have the instinct that this road will take me to the person I want to be. I can see myself at the end of this hard road- a bit haggard, wrinkled and worn, and much tired but full of gratitude. As I soak in the glorious sunlight, the sun is beaming down on me. I’ve made it through to find the life perfectly designed for me. This is the path I yearned to take.

The other road is very familiar. It’s a straight and easy road. There are no significant obstacles. This is the safer road, for sure. Although I can’t see the end of the road, I know this road well. I fear that once I get too far down this road, I will be too far to turn back. I fear this road will take me further and further away from my goals and the person I want to be. I see myself at the end of this road, weary from the monotony. This road seems so much longer than I anticipated. I wonder what I’ve missed. I fear this road will be the road that will never end, the road to nowhere. Will I regret not taking the road less traveled?

You see, I’ve always hated change.

If possible, I’d design the perfect day and happily live that same day over and over for the rest of my life. However, my life has brought many changes through the years. (Thus, the name of my blog.) I experience a considerable change every ten years. Over these years, I’ve learned to embrace the process. Change hasn’t been easy. Each change in life has created a different version of myself.

Finally, after much prayer and talking with God (and myself), I chose the road. The road I chose wasn’t the one that first called out to me. I chose the most familiar road- the one in which I was meant to follow. Suddenly, the path looked beautiful and peaceful as it called out to me. It was an extension of the road I’d been following up to this point, full of beautiful memories. I now had an understanding that I didn’t have before.

Because I trust God to lead me to where I need to be, I realize that no matter the path taken, both roads will eventually arrive at the same place. One road will be completely different from the other, each with its various experiences.

Trust, pray, and have faith.

Embrace the road you choose, knowing you will eventually reach where you need to be. May you be able to feel the happiness, learning, and fulfillment that the journey brings.

Thank you to my faithful readers for allowing me to share my journey.