“She is working on three things right now….her health, her life, her peace.”
I saw this on Instagram and it really spoke to me.
You see, this summer was my “soft girl” summer. I know what you are thinking…..
What is a “Soft Girl”?
The term “soft girl” is specific to a certain lifestyle that is popular among some of the younger women on social media. It’s based on a girly-girl attitude which encompasses a tender, sweet, and vulnerable personality…. a softer personality, if you will. It is characterized by a lifestyle that’s less frantic and chaotic, with self-care and self-growth being a priority.
As an independent and very determined woman, I’ve had to work to work to lean into this aesthetic. By nature, I am not a “soft” woman. Anything but that.
The Realization
My health was suffering due to menopause and a long-term eating disorder. The combination was causing me to gain weight that I could no longer control. I was sick of being entrapped by the negative thoughts of my self-image as well as my out-of-control body.
My life and my home were not the happy places I had envisioned. Most definitely they were not the place in which I could grow and prosper.
After divorces and several toxic relationships, my peace had been robbed. I realized that I had become a bitter, jaded version of the person I once was. I have most definitely not been the woman I’ve always wanted to be. Although I hid it well enough on the outside, it was eating away at my soul. And I wasn’t happy.
My toxic thoughts constantly robbed me of my health, a thriving life, and my joy.
There had to be another way.
The Solution
When I first saw a post about the “soft girl era”, I was intrigued. I really wanted to grow…so much that I felt my life depended on it. I craved betterment and change. So I spent the summer reading.
By chance, I came across the Fiona Ferris series of books. They spoke to me! I began to read book after book. I documented in my journal the things that struck me- I wanted to remember all of her tips! I often refer back to this journal when I need happy thoughts. As cheezy as this sounds, this journal has been the best therapy!
One by one, I came up with a plan to implement the things that spoke to me. And for the first time, I felt so excited!
Little by little, I began to craft my perfect life. (More posts on this to come….)
My Health
I prioritized my health and recovery for the first time in over 25 years. I researched and started a new way of eating that has enabled me to come off of both my anxiety and depression meds. I’ve lost my urge to binge, and it has been a glorious journey watching my body change as I gain muscle mass and better my blood work. It is possible to honor your body and love yourself!
My Life
I’ve made a point to journal every day. I write down the things that inspire me… all the random things! What joy that brings! When I go back and read my entries, how could I not be happy? I’ve created meaningful routines in the process. Routines create calmness for me. I know what to expect and I can easily track my growth… Routines are the pathway to results.
My Peace
I accept where I am in life, realizing that there are others who have things much worse. While I still don’t depend on anyone, I’ve become less angry about my responsibilities. I know that I can take care of myself- and take great pride in that. I no longer feel guilty when I don’t prioritize other’s needs over my own. As a people pleaser, that has been a challenge! I have realized that I won’t ever be wealthy. I don’t have what some others have, but I have been able to create a life I enjoy on a budget that is realistic on a teacher’s salary. I’ve made peace with my finances (or lack thereof). And most importantly, I have what I need! I’ve made peace with my body being a larger, healthier size. In the process of all this, I’ve found a closer relationship with God. What more could you ask for personal growth? Nurture your soul!
I always want to continue growing. I believe that growth and constant change keep you young and in love with life. Every day isn’t going to be easy. You have to work to stay in the “soft girl” mindset.
Food for Thought to Find Your “Soft Girl” Era….
Not everyone will like you or see your worth. It’s okay to love yourself.
Change the way you see every situation. Make it positive.
Make time for things/ people you love. Slow down!
Challenge yourself to learn or do new, exciting things. Never stop learning.
Never stop praying for what you want. When the time is right, it will happen.
Honor your body. You only have one! Embrace being unique.
You have the ability within your means to create an authentic life you love.
