I’ll go ahead and put it out there.
Menopause sucks!
There’s no other way to say it.
I’ve been dealing with this for years and figured I’d bite the bullet and discuss the elephant in the room. Sorry guys, you shouldn’t read this series of posts. It’s not for you. And be thankful!
I’m for sure post-menopausal. I haven’t had a period in more than three years. In some respects, that is totally awesome. Right? No period?
Except for the weight gain, sagging skin, hot flashes, no sex drive……and yeah. All of that just isn’t really worth the convenience of not having a period.
That’s not to even mention the stigma that menopausal women are old and undesirable. Who came up with that conclusion? A man, no doubt. Or was it the young girls who are clueless? As if we women weren’t hard enough on ourselves?
After a year into menopause and contemplating the advantages and disadvantages of hormone replacement, I decided (as a woman with basically a healthy set of genes), to give bio-identical hormone replacement a try. I felt as if I had nothing to lose. More on the medical pros and cons of that later- but y’all! It was a game-changer for me! My only regret was that I went more than a year without it. In that year without estrogen, I developed the dreaded jowls, the crepey skin, and the sagginess- everywhere. It happened so freaking fast!
During the first year of hormone replacement, I began to feel like my old self, maybe even better than my old self. I lost the belly. I gained muscle. I had so much energy! I was no longer an emotional wreck! Once again, I was the queen of my world! I did grow a slight beard *laughing emoji*, and my hair thinned slightly. And hormone replacement ain’t cheap! Insurance doesn’t help with that- which is completely crazy! Despite those few negatives, HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) was so worth it for me! Daily shaving is what keeps men’s skin young. Am I right? It’s just microblading or exfoliation…or whatever else we call it to make it sound better. Not a big deal.
All was good in my hormone venture until March- a year and a half into HRT.
I started bleeding.
I panicked!
if you look up anything on postmenopausal bleeding, it ain’t good. It took me a month to get in to see a doctor. He did an ultrasound that showed a thickened uterus (a cancer risk) and a possible polyp. The doctor suggested a hysteroscopy and D&C, but really, I was over the worry. I was leaning towards a hysterectomy by then. I mean really, my attitude was to let’s take out everything I no longer need! I don’t have time to worry! At this point, I wouldn’t even entertain the thought of having a kid, even if I could. Take it all out!
But after some thought, I decided I needed a second option- because I knew that both procedures were pretty invasive since I’d have to be put to sleep. I then saw a doctor in Greenville who immediately did an endometrial biopsy- something my Goldsboro doctor didn’t offer. I sat on pins and needles, waiting for the results. After weeks of waiting, it was finally my female general physician that was able to call the Greenville doctor to get the results I’d been anxiously waiting on- because she knew it was important to me. My results were benign! Because it had been such an ordeal to get the test results from Greenville and I felt the doctor was an A-hole, I decided to go back to my Goldsboro doctor for the procedure. When the nurse in Goldsboro called to schedule the surgery, I was still leaning towards the hysterectomy. After all, I’d been through enough stress!
The decision was made. Hysterectomy it was…until two days before the surgery. While doing my online check-in (keep in mind, that I’d already done a pre-op and a separate Covid test at the hospital- I’d already spent much money) I saw that they required an additional $7000 down payment. That was on top of the $1700 I’d already paid. I absolutely refused and canceled the procedure. There was no way I was willing to do that! As a girl who has spent most of her life single, that would have taken most of my savings. Hell no! What a racket the medical system is, in my opinion!
I finally opted for the cheaper, less invasive procedure, the hysteroscopy, and D&C. I still had to pay more in addition to my down payment, but much less than the hysterectomy.
And honestly, I’m probably going to let that whole credit card go back. If my credit is ruined, whatever. I have my house and my car. I’m not trying to refinance anything. The hospital and the credit card will each see $20 a month for the payment- probably for the rest of my life. It won’t touch my minimum payment- because that’s all I can do right now. Is it the smartest financial choice? Absolutely not. But you do what you have to do. And I have my own financial priorities- which are not always in the “correct” order. I have to buy Botox. No apologies. And the whole medical everything just makes me feel raped anyway. Do they try to just destroy you? Because I feel like they definitely take advantage.
So, on Thursday, I had the hysteroscopy. It went well. Yay! I’ve been very satisfied with my Goldsboro doctor, Dr. Nichols. Two days later, I had my results- everything was benign. Thank God!
So why the bleeding since March? That’s the big mystery. It wasn’t a hormonal imbalance because months leading up to the surgery, I had no estrogen. It wasn’t a polyp. The results showed a red, very inflamed uterus, just as it had in March. He mentioned a possible allergic reaction. We just don’t know yet.
My guess (with the months of research I’ve done)….
The Covid vaccine….
My instinct tells me that the Covid vaccine is exactly the cause.
My months of research have led me to believe that it was an immune response to the Covid vaccine. There are studies recently being conducted on the reproductive issues caused by the shots. There have been so many post-menopausal women like myself who have suffered from unexplained bleeding. There are more studies being done on the possible reproductive issues the shot may have caused. No doubt more will be uncovered in the future- if the government doesn’t try to hide it. I have no reason to think it’s anything other than that. I mean really, the Covid vaccine hasn’t been around long enough to have conclusive long-term studies on the results. While I believe the shot may be beneficial to some, I do believe it is not beneficial to MOST. I, for sure, won’t have another.
I’m throwing in the towel for the government suggesting I have a Covid shot- “F” them. Yes, I said it. And I’m a Christian- that’s how strongly I feel about it. However, I am not throwing the towel in on hormone replacement. Absolutely not! It’s been the best thing in my life in years. I will continue with HRT and see how the bleeding plays out. But I have a feeling that it’s over.
I plan to continue to document the different aspects of menopause.
Thus the menopause diaries…..
We all eventually go through it. And we aren’t alone.
Cheers to navigating the good, the bad, and the ugly of menopause. We will do this together!
#Girlsstillrule
