Hello, Y’all!
As you might know, as of now, the school year is done!!! It’s a wrap. Listo. Terminado. Done-ito- el- Pikeville-o. (Yeah- totally made up that one. )
Because life was so interesting this past week, I felt the need to give you the daily play-by-play events.
Thursday
In the joy of school ending, there was the spider bite. First, I don’t remember the actual bite. I don’t remember feeling a thing! I really don’t know at which point I could have been bitten. And that gives me heebie-geebies! I could have been bitten outside while doing yard work. Or, worse, the spider could have been temporarily residing in the sweatpants that had been on my closet floor for a week. ( Note to self-never let clothes lay on the floor!) We may never know how this incident occurred. Regardless of the happenings, this wasn’t just any spider bite. It was the mother-of-all spider bites. It was a brown recluse bite. One bite would have been bad enough. But why be mediocre? I had an overachieving spider bite me twice.
Friday
I woke at 2 am with the most obnoxious itching ever. I actually got up to inspect my leg. I had two bites on the inside of my knee that I assumed were ant bites. They had the familiar small pustule on top. I dowsed the bites in anti-itch cream and went back to sleep. When I awoke for school at my usual 4:15 am, I felt like I’d been hit by a bus. How I felt was equivalent to the worst college hangover ever, although I hadn’t even had a drop of anything to drink the night before. As the day progressed, and the bites became redder and more swollen, I knew that the bites were not ordinary insect bites. Because I had other, more pressing things going on that day, I really didn’t give the bites much space in my head as I had an end-of-the-year party in which to prepare.
Saturday
I continued to feel weak. I had a fever and my muscles ached. I sent a picture of the bites to my mom, sister, and mother-in-law for opinions (because above all, they are my free-of-charge, my best-interests-in-mind primary doctors). When I didn’t have the stamina to complete my morning walk, I decided to listen to my family and head to the nearest Urgent Care. There is nothing like dropping a huge co-pay to add insult to the injury! The doctor nonchalantly diagnosed it as a brown recluse bite (what-the-what?) and called in some scripts. I retreated home and was completely rendered incompetent to do anything functional after the anti-itch medicine. However, I had the best sleep of my life..
Sunday
I woke with a super-nasty case of heartburn and a fiery rash on my face. Awesome. So what did I do? I took more itch medicine and didn’t participate in life. I might have squeezed in a Housewives episode or two… unless I dreamed it.
Monday
I HAD to report to work to close up my classroom on Monday. I was barely hanging on by a thread, as the venom surged through my blood. Still medicated from the previous afternoon, I had to chant to myself as I was driving….”Just keep it between the lines, Girlfriend.” Truly scary times. And the bites were angry…red, oozing, and angry. And bless anyone’s heart who so patiently waited that day as I tried to form sentences. The rash on my face was spreading by the minute. I stopped all antibiotics and quickly booked an appointment with my favorite GP. Then, I went home, took meds, and slept…
Tuesday
I was reunited with my favorite GP! Yes, I tracked her down, all stalker-like. But when you have a good doctor, you literally just know and then you follow her (yes, I am totally feminist when it comes to my health care) wherever she goes. Good doctors are worth more than gold! She changed my meds, agreeing that my originally prescribed antibiotic did NOT agree with me. While I was there, I had a pap smear, a full panel of bloodwork, and a mammogram. How’s that for being super productive? *Insert crazy laughing emoji* While I was out, the tiles guys started on my backsplash. Thankfully, Eric was home for that. Photos will be coming soon.
And then I took meds and slept…do you see a pattern?
Stay tuned to see if my new meds helped and to see the progress of the sider bite journal.
