“What exactly is a divorce ring?” I’ve been asked that question several times. I suppose there isn’t anything actually labeled as a ‘divorce ring’. Really, it’s just something I made up. Maybe I’ll start a new trend.
So, here’s the story behind my divorce ring….
I’d already had the diamond from my previous marriage. Trying to make the more economical choice, we decided to recycle the diamond. Before my ex proposed, he surprised me by having it reset in a band that he chose himself. As difficult as it is to say anything nice about my ex (I’m working on not being bitter!) , I admit that he had fantastic taste when it came to choosing gifts. Be it jewelry or clothes, he always nailed it. As soon as I saw the ring, I immediately fell in love with it. I took the the ring, as well as my vows, very seriously. Through the seven years, I’d always worn my diamond with pride, because it represented an eternal bond. For me, it was always more than a pretty ring.
I cried the day I took off my wedding ring. Every morning, as I dressed for work, I’d see the ring sitting on a shelf in my closet and I’d be instantly reminded of the betrayal. I’d think of the girl (girl is so not the word I want to use…) that had broken up both marriages and I’d feel angry for the loss of the life I thought I’d had. I couldn’t escape the idea that my life had been completely changed by someone I had trusted. For a while, I put it away, out of sight. Rather than let a beautiful ring sit in a drawer, I decided to trade it.
At first, trading it seemed a little overindulgent. The more responsible choice would have been to sell it and put the money into my savings. I could have even applied it towards my house loan. But, so far, I’m managing my bills. I really didn’t want to give up my sparkling diamonds. I definitely didn’t want to wait a thousand years for a man to buy a ring for me. Sometimes, logic aside, you have to do what feels right.
So I did it!
After a few weeks of searching, I said yes to a ring of my very own. Although I cried the morning I traded it, I knew that I was ready to leave yet another thing from my marriage behind. So that night, I celebrated with one of my best friends. She’s been through this this entire experience with me, her loyalty never wavering. We laughed, drank wine, and celebrated another milestone in this journey. And I felt blessed for all of the good things in my life.
I love the slightly vintage look of this new ring. It’s something that will be timeless. It’s as bold as the new person I have become. It represents my new life, with a world of possibilities. It symbolizes my independence. It reminds me that I’m allowed to be true to myself and that I’m allowed to make my own choices. When I look at my new divorce ring, I’m happy… maybe even a little proud. I’m proud that I’m a survivor. I’m proud that I can manage on my own and that I can still have nice things. With this beautiful new sparkly diamond ring, I’m embracing this beautiful new life.