Making sense of life…..
That’s a hard one. I struggle with that idea.
I strongly feel the need to make sense of my life. I need to know why things in my life have happened the way that they did.
Why couldn’t I be married for over 50 years, as my parents have been?
Why did I have an eating disorder that robbed me of my best years?
Why must I be plagued with perfectionism and the need to be in control?
I’ve been through years of therapy. I’ve read a million self-help books. I am a certified holistic health coach. I should, by now, have all the answers. Right?
I’ve realized..maybe just more so today, that it’s my spirituality that answers all of my questions.
Because there are so many different beliefs, I know that religion is a very touchy subject.
I come from a place of understanding all religions. Personally, I chose long ago to be a Christian. Although I am a Christian and I read the bible by way of daily devotionals, I recognize that there are many concepts of spirituality.
By definition, spirituality is “the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things”. For my personal self, it is being in touch with a greater being who feeds my human spirit and soul. Through years of soul searching, my contentment comes from believing in fate and the belief that there is a reason that all things that happen. Because I am a Christian, I find comfort that God has a plan for me. Everything I’ve been through has been a learning experience. You see, God allowed me to make my own choices. He allowed me to make mistakes. I have a record for not listening. I completely blame myself. Although my choices didn’t always make my own life easy, my faith has made me so much more understanding and appreciative of the things I have now.
Through my holistic health studies, I believe that it’s so important to have a belief in a higher being, regardless of religious beliefs. After all, religion is a very personal thing. And that means different things to many different people.
So what spurred this this very serious, introspective post?
A trip to the local winery inspired me today…. Secret Garden Winery in Pikeville, to be exact. Every time I’ve visited the winery, it’s been on a whim- a complete last minute decision.
And every time I’ve been to that winery, I’ve met people that have blessed my life. (Future blog post with pictures coming…)
After school today, I needed to stop by the grocery store to get supplies for National Pizza Day. You know I have to celebrate every occasion! I randomly decided to stop by the winery to see if there was anything new to taste.
I arrived at the same time as a couple from Chicago, as well as a most fantastic local woman. The four of us had seemingly nothing in common, but as we talked and tasted wine, we began to connect. We discovered that we each had overlapping life stories. For hours, we shared our stories and beliefs. We shared encouragement. Shouldn’t that be our ultimate purpose if life? To make connections and encourage others?
I left with many references for new books as well as a renewed sense of purpose. Because as much as I’d like to think I have it all together, sometimes I’m very lost. I’m not lost in my walk with God. I pray. I pray so many times a day. As far as my walk with God, I’m there. I’m very spiritual.
But sometimes, I struggle with knowing my purpose in life. Am I destined to be single forever? Will I have a “forever” person? How will I know when something is truly right? Will I be able to help others through my struggles?
These are all chapters of my life that are waiting to be written. Maybe I overthink things. Scratch that- I KNOW I overthink things. That’s my daily struggle.
But for now, I’m doing my best to leave things in the hands of God. I am a spiritual person, and I do believe that my life has a plan. I’ll have to be patient so that I can see where life leads me. I’ll constantly remind myself to be understanding and accepting.
And in the end, my life will be a beautiful story.
I realize that all the chapters in my life will create the whole story. If even one chapter were missing, the story wouldn’t have the same ending.
So tonight, thanks to the visit to the winery, I’ve realized that I look forward to writing the next chapter in the book of my life. For sure, my life has a purpose.